What can I say? The motivational juices haven’t been flowing and the wave of procrastination has risen as I’ve surfed along the edge of inspiration. Apologies for the mixed metaphors – I’m a little rusty.
What’s been the issue? Well that’s a really good question and one that I’m not entirely certain there is straight forward answer too. Initially, it was the stresses and strains of work but I am safely ensconced in week 3 of the summer holiday so now that reason doesn’t stand.
We could blame the perfectionist in me. I could say that I don’t want to publish content that I’m not happy with and that I am lacking anything original or witty to share (not that any of what has previously ended up on this blog could be classed as such)! Again, I’m not entirely sure that this is the whole reason.
Could it be the traditional writer’s block? Yes, this is certainly a possibility, however there are at least three half written blog posts waiting for my fingers to click the key enabling completion and they’re pretty much plotted and planned out.
So what is the issue then? Well, it is perhaps more to do with myself more than anything. I know me. I have a pattern in some aspects of life that has emerged over the years. In particular the area of hobbies and interests. Yes, I can not be committed to hobbies and interests. Eventually, the passion and enthusiasm that has inspired me becomes lack lustre and makes even the once most coveted of activities and task seem laborious. Oh dear, looks like it has stuck again.
Please, don’t get me wrong, I am overly committed to other aspects of life – being a mum, wife, daughter, friend. Personal relationships I’ve got down to a tee. Career wise, I’m diligent, motivated and hardworking; brimming with enthusiasm and energy. I feel especially satisfied with my career.
So what’s the issue with hobbies and interests? Well, perhaps we need to start at childhood and work our way forward. Here we see a range of different hobbies that were started and never completed. Ballet, tap, gymnastics, horse riding, five aside football, Brownies, Guides, youth club, kick boxing, drama club even the sodding gym. All activities and groups that I’ve wholeheartedly embraced and then slowly moved away from. I mean some of these hobbies have been ongoing for a few years before I decided to take myself out of the mix. Some were a brief flight of fancy. Whatever the period of time dedicated to this passing passtimes, they have all usually ended up the same way. A part of my past.
The question is though, why does this pattern happen? Why do I start these enriching extra curricula activities and then drop them? Even I can’t see the logic behind it? I mean, it isn’t down to lacking commitment as this is evident in other aspects of my life. Could i just be a flaky? Could the hobbies just not suit me? Or is it that, what I really need to consider is perhaps more philosophical. It’s more something innately within me. Maybe, like everything in life – some things are transient and feature in our lives as a passing interest that enables us to grow and evolve as a person.Once we have learnt or gathered what we need from them they no longer have a place in our lives…maybe. Who knows and I suppose it doesn’t matter in the end!
Back to the hobby in hand, when reflecting on the blogging there is still much to be had from this pursuit – even if it is the mere cataloguing of the random musing of motherhood from a woman approaching her mid thirties.
For now I will persevere and, even if it is a mere trickle of activity every few weeks or even months, I will continue to drop these thought bombs into the great waves of the the internet. Well, at least until the next hobby takes my fancy!