You know you’re a mum when…

As you know I’m into identifying Mummy Types as I feel that, as a group, we shouldn’t be stereotyped or pigeon holed; there is a wide range of mummy types and personas and one size doesn’t fit all. However, there does seem to be the odd thing that most mummies gravitate towards saying or doing.  The title of this post pretty much sums up the topic. It’s just a list of things that I’ve observed us mummy types wearing, saying and doing.

So, you know you’re a mum when…

  1. Your outfit will contain a schmoo stain…and you won’t care.
  2. You will be wearing a parka as it’s practical and on trend…well mainly because it’s practical – on trend was purely coincidental.
  3. Your hair will be in a mun (mum bun) or top knot – as you’re uber stylish and not because you didn’t have time to rinse your hair in the shower. Or indeed shower…
  4. You will have company when in the toilet – in the form of a small child, it would just be odd and freaky to have a random person in their plus it would be totes awkward.
  5. Cold cups or tea/coffee will lay randomly abandoned throughout your home as you have forgotten to drink them.

    Alone and abandoned, the tea cooled itself.

    Alone and abandoned, the tea cooled itself.

  6. You will randomly find cold cups of tea that you have forgotten to drink…and that item you were desperately searching for but couldn’t find days ago.
  7. You will use phrases like ‘Stop that’, ‘No’, ‘Be kind’ and ‘Gentle’ like some sort of mummy mantra that you regularly repeat.
  8. You will have been given some patronising, well meaning advice about how to raise children by someone random…and it will not have been requested or needed.
  9. You will have had to deal with some form of toddler/child meltdown in a public place at the worst possible moment imaginable.
  10. You will longingly look at the clock and wonder how it isn’t bedtime yet – for both your child and yourself…
  11. You will be woken at least once in the night by your toddler…or soundly snoring, stress free husband/partner.
  12. You will lament the state of your home and vaguely remember the pre-children days when it looked semi decent. Now it is a shrine to the gods of small, plastic toys and Mega blocks….which you will also find in really random locations.

    Does anyone think they're just like big Lego?

    Does anyone think they’re just like big Lego?

  13. You will have a go to app on your phone or tablet that is essential in allowing a brief amount of mummy down time… or that prevents offspring meltdowns.
  14. You notice increasingly that bribery and bargaining are becoming your most used tools for getting your child to do anything. Yep, you’re that parent…
  15. You will have googled something parent related to see if you’re the only person this has happened to…and breathe a sigh of relief when you know you are not!
  16. You will have felt guilty scrolling through your Facebook feed when your child is playing in the lounge but have desperately needed a minute of grown up time…and to like that meme about parenting. It’s like someone memed your life or something…
  17. You will often wonder how stupid the characters in children’s television programmes can be – like why is Bob the Builder so patient when it seems everyone he works with (aside from Wendy) seems like an imbecile? How frequently could  Scoop or Muck mess up before you’d give them the boot?
  18. You will randomly find yourself humming a children’s television programme theme tune or nursery rhyme …and then hours later have it still stuck in your head. In fact you may even randomly break into song generally, children like songs…anything for a moments peace!
  19. You are the food organiser – you shop for it, make it, clean it up. You do meal times…that’s your thing.
  20. You wonder if you’re doing this mum thing right. If you care enough to think that then most likely you are…well, to be honest we’ll only ever know after it’s too late! There’s a reason for therapy you know.

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